i need to make friends with sleep

if i can do that ONE thing in 2010, it will improve my life in unbelievable ways. 

today, being the holiday, is a very odd day.  but, that brings it all out into the open.  i got to bed at 3:15 or so, which is typical if you work until 2:30am.  actually, it’s pretty good.  most people get out of work at 5pm and might hit the hay at 10/11 or so, which is five/six hours later.  for me that kind of experience puts pillow time at 8am, or well after sun-up.   THAT will totally wreck a day.

the bother is the boy child was already up a 3 wanting to “inspect” the christmas packages.  and what the hell, he’s 13 and he’s excited and wants to know if he’s getting what he asked for.  and it’s one of those things that you can decipher by picking up the box and shaking it.  (no, he didn’t find it)

the emotion carries over to the morning, and he shakes me at 6am.  i’m closing in on 3 hours into the sleep cycle, so i protest and get another 1/2 hour reprive.  i’m not sure how much of a difference that made, but i get up and we do the gift unwrapping.  and it’s always great stuff.  i hit the coffee pot hard and i bang down the chocolates from the stocking and i make it through it a happy person.  dazed, but happy. 

and then BLAM.  i crash.  it’s the end of the buzz, and the payment came due from the sleep debt.  and so i get another two hours.  now i’m close to five hours for the cycle.  and off to grandmother’s house we go.  which is awesome.  great food, great people, really good times.  four hours into this i’m looking for soft spots on the floor.  they’re there too, which makes it really tempting.

but i hold out and we all make it home.  and then i get a nap, and wake up when the body/mind feel like coming awake.  i dunno, might have been another hour, but at that point i feel a lot more like myself.  maybe it’s an important hour.  so, i’m up and we can officially start the day.  but, the next thing i know it’s 8:30 and the rest of the family is in bed.  my brain has been scrambled enough that playing a mind game like poker is not in the cards. 

so i play some Call of Duty (Modern Warfare 2 – BragLion on the xBox, ahem, it’s the kid’s account – hit me up if you’re brave), bang out some achievements, tilt back some dark rum and cokes, and find myself sitting here.    at 10:30.  and it occurs to me, once again, that i spend too much of my life fighting sleep at night, and gripping the covers too tight in the morning.

the geek in me says “that’s just not optimal”.

and i think a lot of it developed from the fact that a lot of what i do is set by my own schedule.  so, if i have any energy there is no “well, tomorrow i’ll get up early and start on project X”.  instead it’s “i should start on project X now”.  and you just keep going until the sleep demon takes away your ability to do something productive.  now, that’s faded over the past two/three years, but i think that’s where it all started. 

hehe, i can hear tommy angelo now.  practice sleeping.  or better yet, practice falling asleep.  take a shower, put some night clothes on, turn off all of the 37 lights in the house that aren’t being used, turn off the tv and the computers, get the dog out of the bed, and settle in with a fresh pillow.

December 26, 2009   Posted in: Uncategorized  No Comments

FlowChart

PSAT’s are in . . .

both the girl and boy child took the PSAT’s this year.  the girl child is a junior who is college bound, and she did well.  there’s some room for improvement, but it really was a solid performance.  pop it up a smidge, say 4% and she’s in the sweet spot.

the boy child however, kindof threw me a curve.  he’s performance is apparently better than 63% of college bound juniors.  if he were a college bound junior, there would be issues.  but considering he’s in 7th grade, i’m gonna call this one a very strong showing. 

in fact, i think this one is worth a two day pass.  so, for two days in 2010 i will not say to him “Boy, I’mma put a boot up your ass!”  . . .  he does not get to pick the days.

FlowChart

ok, maybe it is, maybe it ain’t.  here’s what i’ve gotten from the very first chapter of Tony Robbins.   four steps he calls his “Ultimate Success Formula“.  fear not, he’s encouraged me to “share what i learn”.

STEP #1 – Know Your Outcome.  define precisely what you want.  i can do that.  but, there are a couple of chapters on goal setting that are coming up, and i think that’s only fair.  precise goals aren’t exactly the best goals.  but, ok, say i want to be able to do 50 push-ups.  that’s precise.

STEP #2 – Take Action. makes sense.

STEP #3 – Analyze.  well, actually he puts it as develop the ability to recognize the responses and results that we get from our actions.  and to gauge whether they are taking us closer to our goals or not.

STEP #4 – make changes.  change your behavior until it is producing the results you want.

see how simple?

hehe, i’ll post some results when they come in.

in the meantime, i have some gifts that need wrapping.

December 24, 2009   Posted in: Uncategorized  No Comments

the squirrels are safe

and so are the chipmunks, all the feathered creatures, the field mice, rabbits, and on and on.  i get out of the shower and it seems my bed turned into a slumber party for everything in the house with four legs and fur. 

squirrelsAreSafe

December 18, 2009   Posted in: Uncategorized  One Comment

i’ve had the whole week off

which means that i could have pounded the card tables, or crushed piles of business opportunities that are waiting for my attention, or banged the drums and almost be where i felt the rust would start to crack and fall off.  instead, i’ve got nothing accomplished. 

in the early part of the week i know that i spend more time working on the tavern than at the tavern.  the rest of my free time has gone to seeing my daughter’s choral recital, my boy and girl child’s christmas band shows, having dinner out with the family, christmas shopping with the wife, time playing games with the boy child, and just enough pecking at work to have clean desks at the home office AND the tavern office.  i’m also now prepped for putting a better system into place in two weeks when the new year (and the new year’s accounting duties) come around. 

i don’t feel a twinge of regret.  

besides,  i look to have another week free ahead of me, and i have all the rest of the night to get some revenue generating deeds done.

December 17, 2009   Posted in: Uncategorized  No Comments

chendo – 462 da f@#K

what a town.  our local newsbird came in the bar today and started flapping his gums about being in shenandoah and seeing the FBI arresting the town police force.   he’s a teller of tall tales, and this is certainly tall stuff.  turns out to be true. 

there’s no doubt in my mind that the cops coaxed the kids to get them through the rap on that murder case.  and while the feds were investigating that, they noticed that the cops were taking from the bookies.   bookies in shenandoah are famous.  word has it that one once put together a scheme to offer a better price on the state lottery. 

the lottery has three buckets of ten balls which can be picked to yield numbers 000-999 (or 1,000 different results).  the lottery commission pays half of what they take in (500-1 for an exact match).  so, local shopkeepers and underground entrepreneurs would take action on lottery results and pay out 750-1 to folks that hit, taking $250 per $1,000 in action for themselves.  which, if you’re an old lady playing the daily number, yay. 

but, the state of PA has lottery data computerized and noticed the dropoff in action.  so they investigated. 

i’m not sure i believe it, but, we are talking about chendo now . . . .

i used to play street hockey up there, and it was like driving into a bad neighborhood in brooklyn twice a week.  i remember one game where some fights broke out, and the ambulance came to pick up the fallen with a stretcher.  they trotted right onto the court, went right up to the guy and trotted right back off without him.  it was comical.  then they came back with a gurney.  guess they needed something more stable.  we finished the game with a puddle of blood to the left of the Villan’s goal. 

don’t feel bad for the fellow either.  he’s on the short list of people i absolutely cannot stand.  in fact, when he dies i’m buying a round because the world will be a sunshinier place without him. 

in the end i’ll probably find out if the cops were squeezing the bookies, or if they were offering a blind eye for a taste of the action.  doesn’t matter to me, but it sounds weird that paying law enforcement doesn’t have its perks. 

the CNN reporting on the racial murder strikes me.  they set it up that the fighters were hurling ‘racial slurs’ during the altercation.  heh.  ever been to shenandoah?  if you have an obvious race/ethnicity and you’re in a fight,  you’re getting called on it.  and if they can’t figure out what slurs to throw your way, you’re gay.  well, in less polite terms.  lol, come to think of it, maybe the fighter isn’t doing the jawing, their women will be doing the bantering while egging on their beloved in a bout of fisticuffs. 

i played hockey with some of the guys from shenandoah in a city league.  frustrating experience, but whatever.  we lost our goalie one year.  he was in State College and died when a barfight spilled outside and his head got whacked off of a curb.  nothing ever came of it.  bettinger turned into a corpse, and no one even got a citation.

my memories of the town are just . . . well, it stuns me.  i can easily see a group of guys beating someone up and having it all end in ruin.  i kindof seen it before.  the racial slurs, that’s a no brainer.  whether the beating was because he was hispanic i could go either way on.  it wouldn’t shock me if the answer was yes.  it wouldn’t shock me if he owed money, he knocked up someone’s sister, he got loaded and pissed on the wrong grandma’s petunias on the way home one night, and this group of would be thugs decide to, in their minds,  teach him a lesson.

instead they kill him, and the cops cover it up as best they can.  priceless.  oh, and the cops are on the take from the bookies (or are they squeezing the bookies?)  either way, they’re about as crooked as you can imagine. 

 did i mention our high school football teams used to play each other.  instead of throwing eggs or snowballs at the bus on the way out of town they’d throw rocks?  and once the fights on the field and in the stands merged, it was decided it was best just to stop playing against each other.  that, was many, many moons ago. 

i know that there are good people in chendo, but man, the idiots have run amok.  no wonder we have the joke . . .

> “Why wasn’t Christ born in Shenandoah?”

> “They couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin”

they had a reunion street hockey game this past fall.  there are some guys that i would have liked to see again.  but i thought about it for a moment, and decided that i made it through those years and the worst i got was a broken nose.  i rode that horse already; the league fell apart and there’s no sense tempting fate at this point. 

oh, in case you’ve never been, if you ask someone from Shenandoah where they’re from, they’re say “462″.  as in my phone number is 462-pdqk.  and they use the phrase “da f@#k” the same way Monica Lewinski uses the ”like”.  “I was, like, getting my hair done when, like, my like, phone, like rang”.

December 15, 2009   Posted in: Uncategorized  No Comments

no band tonight

so i have the night free to do as i please.  not sure what ‘ll come of it. 

POKER JOURNAL – i have to kind of recap some of the stuff that i’ve been doing for the month.  i just finished a session where i flat out got outplayed.  and the worst thing is that the fellow wasn’t making plays.  he was playing his hands in a way that i can understand.  but, instead of giving him credit for a holding, i leaned towards “being aware that he might have X”.  he had X, every time.  and i still pushed the wrong buttons. 

well, it only happened twice, and i outflopped him on one hand (QQ>KK) so i finished the table with some of his chips in my stack.  still, here it is mid-day, and i’m thinking one thing and not quite bringing myself to following through.  that’s bad. 

i haven’t been so bothered after a winning session, maybe forever.  i’m up for the month, but it’s all luck.  i’m winnning flips and such.  my EV meter says i should actually be down 1/2BI. 

i’m not really discouraged though.  i can feel things breaking off in my brain and i can sense some sort of development.  and really, that’s what i’m shooting for at the moment. 

on the list of points that indicate development is to knock off dumb calls (big or small).

December 11, 2009   Posted in: Uncategorized  No Comments

it’s my birthday

and generally that passes with a recognition from a chosen few.  this year, however, i have a facebook account.  needed one to keep track of the wife and kids’ cyberspace activities.  it is also, apparently, the gateway to a thousand well wishes.  that’s kindof neat, and it’s also kindof like a “holy crap, people are crawling out of the woodwork at me” sensation.  still, i knew everyone and it was good to hear from them.  it was just uncomfortable because it was about me, instead of  “hey, merry christmas” or “yo, happy fourth of july man!”. 

CARDS – i’m planning on a short session tonight before i turn my attentions to pounding some Whizinators, which are apparently designed to be soda fountain monstor cups.  they work very well with beer taps, so a thumbs up on the multifunctional front for that one. 

i’m through 7 vids in the 30 day series i’m undertaking.  that puts me roughly 50%  off the pace, as my daily email reminder says “welcome to day #15 of you’re poker learning experience”.  somehow i’m comfortable with that.  basically i chew up a vid, do a session +[posting/analysis].  repeat.  that’s plenty for moi.

the last vid was from Pokey, who sounds like he has the same bass-rich voice, quality mic, same EQ setting passion of delivery as Tommy Angelo.  the two of them can get off with things that i’m thinking might escape other because they have such a rich delivery.

oh, i listened to some Tommy A.  last night as i was working through my iPod and discovered i accidentally deleted some recordings.  so, while i’m retooling a sound rig i put on some of the 8fold path stuff.  perfect for iPods, btw.  he is certainly a unique character.

TONY ROBBINS – i got through maybe five pages and realized that some of the things that i planned on changing after the holidays, i should change now.  i won’t bore you with it, but sometimes sooner is better than later.

all right, i’m off to the tables for 40 minutes.  i have an agenda, wish me well.

December 10, 2009   Posted in: Uncategorized  No Comments

i’m finally getting head again

man, there have been so many updates that i didn’t make.  goofy stories, mini-realizations.  phfft.  gone from my memory banks.  but fear not, i do have a post for tonight.  although it’ll be a ton of rambling.  so be it . . .

i think the first thing is that i’m recognizing this month as being a “Set Up” piece of time.  i have a couple of things that i want to put into place, but not right this moment.  i want to find out what pieces i need, build the machine, get the bugs knocked out, then add gas, open the throttle and let her rip.  and that’s on the business front, and the poker front.  i’m afraid it won’t happen on the drumming front, but you can’t have everything.

i’ve seen the Tony Robbins ”refresh yourself in my motivational cd’s” infomercials and they caught me a few times.  never enough to push buy though.  but, and this’ll make Larry laugh ’til he pukes, i found some of his books on amazon for a penny.  well, for a penny i’ll take the plunge.  so i got two.  they’re on their way.  i can add them to the unread books sitting over to my left, or i can digest them bit by bit during the month and see if they can aid me in setting up a better approach to life and all its endeavors. 

i also found a Charles Givens book for a penny.  that’s on its way too. 

Here’s what i expect to find:

> habits string themselves together.  to break old ones, you should shear it away from it’s partner habits.  (Mr. X always smokes when he drinks, eats popcorn at the movie theatre, does the impulse buy thing when shopping while hungry, etc.).  task rearrangement number one for me is no more poker at night.  or say, past 11pm.  i’m not at my best.  if i play during the day, it’s a portion of time that i can spend on a project.  NOT a lazy endeavor. 

i’m much better at not being a goof when i’m spending time on a project than when i’m indulging in a lazy endeavor.

> there’s a TON of hidden money lost in Taxes and Insurance.  i know that i “took money out” of the businesses recently, and the conversation with the accountant went like this . . .

“I have a pile of money i want to take out for the family.  i need a sleeve for the chimney we run the wood burner under, and the water at the bottom of the hill here is acidic.  it’s eating the copper pipes it’s that bad.  gotta get a soda ash system put in to balance it out.  so, if i have X AMOUNT OF MONEY that i can take out, how much can i keep for bills instead of sending to the government?”

the answer was 52% of X. 

that.  blows.

and this instance is whatever it is.  but, this whole simple-man-blind-eye-to-tax-ramifications-lifestyle that i lead ends in 2009.     R.I.P.

INSURANCE is without a doubt, my #1 expense (medical, car/auto, fire, liability, life).  and it’s probably pricey stuff on many fronts.  but i dont’ shop for it.  i don’t view it as buying a product, i view it as “please Mr. insurance company, accept me and let me pay the price to find a space under the shield of your protection.” 

there might be a better, or at least a more informed, approach. 

but, i’m not  making this decision tomorrow at all costs, i’ll take some time to figure it out.  but,  let’s just say that either 2010 will be  painful realization of the state of affairs of the industry, and how i fit in as a consumer – OR, after taking a financial fillet knife to this area i’ll feel as though the cost/benefit relationship is right where it should be. ;)

CARDS – here’s some adjustments.  i checked out Stoxpoker, and they have “courses” set up.  and i thought, all right, that’s interesting enough.  so i spent some FTP points and bought a 3 month access.  turns out the courses are a video a day.  well duh, if i watched 30 videos a month i’d be better.  which leads me to . . .

duh, “there’s the path kid, walk it or don’t.  i don’t give a shit.”  that’s pretty much what i’d tell someone asking drumming questions. 

at a video a day i can do the entire whiteHeatSyd saga before new year’s.  but, i get the point.  from where i’m sitting, five videos a month isn’t going to do it.  oh, and did i mention pokey is involved in stox?  for whatever reason on the small stakes front i’ve felt like Verneer, check.  Citizenwind, ack, check.  tubaSteve, check.  Pokey – BLAM – that’s the guy.

i can’t keep up the pace, but, i kinda have a life to lead outside of cards.  for instance, Saturdays have been 15 hour days.  start work at noon, and get home at 3am.  squeezing in a vid is not gonna happen.  and even if i did do it, after 14 hours of constant babble, is it all going to be in one ear and out the other?

still, if i put into it what i can, and that means both minding the cards and Maintaining A Proper Mindset, i can use December to work through some growing pains.  obviously i expect it to be a combination of turning off leaks, and learning to see a little bit deeper into the game.  and the deeper part will involve some mistakes.

then come January i should have established some new habits, and acquired some new insight;  i’m hoping that will translate into greater success at the tables.

TAVERN UPDATE – this post has been sitting in the drafts.  just got back from the tavern tonight where i talked to a young lady from down the block who was out last Monday (Team Trivia Night).  she said she indulged in too many Captain and Cokes.  to the point that when she woke up she had a very happy husband, but no recollection of the frolic from the night before.  it was part of her blackout period. 

she said the only thing he’d let her in on was that she did things she never did before.  i told her “congratulations”. she said “but my clothes were scattered throughout the house.” and i said . . . “congratulations”.  

fast forward four beers and she tells me that if she took my wife out for the night, the wife would come home and do things i’ve never dreamed of.  i said “how does wednesday sound?” she said “oh, when i’m done with her, you won’t know how to handle her.”  to which i replied, “i’ll enjoy having the chance to try.”

so she says “and i’ll man the camera.  well, only for so long.  sooner or later we’ll have to put it on a tripod.  i mean, i’m not gonna just watch the whole time.”

at that point, i thought . . . this is not a bad gig.  of course it all ends in a wink and a chuckle, but it’s sooo much better than water cooler banter involving American Idol or fantasy football.

oh – my Kegmeister is back from limbo, so i’m back on draft beer instead of cans.  the very first thing that struck me was that wonderful layer of foam that rises to the top of the glass.  you just don’t get that from a can.  and to be honest, when given the choice of head or no head – i’ll take head.

December 8, 2009   Posted in: Uncategorized  No Comments

what’s my range??

BTIMM:  when you ressurect yourself online as an alter-ego blogger, do let me in on the location.  hitup the “about me” page for an email/msn/skype addy.

CARDS: on the homework front, i’m reviewing hands to see what my range is.  or more specifically, what range of cards do i play profitably. 

probably should’ve been doing monthly recaps all along, but as played, do i win with . . .

  • big pockets – check
  • actually all pockets – check.  with a meager winning for 99, and there might be something to that.  i play 99 differently than 88 (BIG winner), and maybe i give 99 too much credit.
  • suited Aces – check
  • JTs/T9s – check. 
  • other suited connectors, one-gappers and  suited two-gaps – LOSERS
  • non-suited connectors, gaps – LOSERS.  but not by as much as thier suited counterparts.  that makes sense in that i’ll avoid the flush over flush big pot losses.

in digging, i noticed that KQs is a loser, and it probably has something to do with how i play that hand.   in fact, if i remove KQs from the SC results, it’s break-even. 

thumbs up to finding a hole :) !! 

the thing is that my VPIP/PFR with these hands is 50/32.

one-gaps i’ll get into next time.  for now, i’m dropping them until i get a better grip on it all.

other hands in the red that i need to fix:

  • AQo
  • AJo
  • KQs
  • KQo
  • KJo

hmmph.  i think i have some things to look into a bit more deeply, and then some changes to make.  i hope they make a difference.

November 26, 2009   Posted in: Cards  One Comment

poof

i just got done the “it’s sunday night during the winter” activity of the week.   i was putting together a circuit board that was the heart of a device that takes an input from an audio device, and regulates the flow of electricity to an electrical output based on audio signal strength. 

basically, you plug in a lamp, and it pulses to the music.

except . . .

 poof

i blew it up.  it shouldn’t be charred like that where the electrical input is. 

it died well enough.  a nice flash and a puff of smoke that hinted of electrical fire. 

the wife was like “well, looks like you’ll have to try that again.”

November 22, 2009   Posted in: Uncategorized  No Comments